for what is necessary..
I sometimes run into these episodes of what feels like full on destitution, and I can’t exactly describe where or even what it comes from, but when it does, I feel absolutely fucking crazy. absolutely. and feeling this..this funk of whatever it is, people need an easy button, a flush, an outlet.
A Quick jog of what could have easily been done, I didn’t feel like writing at the time, I didn’t have any art supplies, and the jam room was most definitely too far. I felt ashamed and helpless. Ashamed at the fact that I couldn’t tell someone what was wrong or why I felt it but I needed them to help me not feel this way, and the more horrible thing is I dont know what to do about it, so I block it out.
One of my rationales, one I’d like to think that is a common one, is that you feel the way you want to. As easy as that sounds that is fucking ridiculously hard to accomplish. This funk that I have, does reoccur. My mind eats itself, which is why I’ve been dwelling on the flaw of this logic. You have to lie to yourself to block stuff out of your mind, to not feel what you don’t want to. that’s setting aside the leftovers so your mind can munch on it later. Are you only as strong as your emotions? if you deny your emotions are you emotionless? does that make you less of a person?
